bliss.

do you know where your heart is
do you think you can find it
or did you trade it for something
somewhere better just to have it
do you know where your love is
do you think that you lost it
you felt it so strong, but
nothing's turned out how you wanted
- OneRepublic : Say (All i need)

i was listening to this song on Phil's CD on our way to the cottage ..and he didn't know the title of the song so i started to write part of the lyrics on my cell phone and saved it as a draft. came home. googled it. dowloaded it. wow i am such a nerd and obsessed with good songs when i hear one.
i think i finally realize where my heart and my love is. actually i'm pretty sure i knew all along exactly where it was, i'm just not afraid to admit it now. i was taking some time last night to ...for once in my life not pray about me and my life and my future.. but just sit my ass down and focus on each member of my immediate family..my mom, dad, and my brother. how is it that my life would drastically change in a split second.. if i were to loose any of the 3 but i'm not doing anything about the fact that none of them know Christ. i feel like i really need to pray for my family more. that prayer led me trying to pray for all the people around me. that eventually led me to praying for you. it was the most liberating feeling to pray for someone who i know for a fact that hates me to death right now..but i felt complete genuine love for that person.
so much of my heart and love is still with you.
but i didn't pray hoping for a miracle so that one day just maybe we'll get another chance.
i prayed in hopes that maybe one day you will know the God that i know and he will change you and your life the way He has changed mine.


* playlist dedicated to songs that i listened to during this weekend (from wayne's amazing ipod list) ..that i totally forgot about..and once again redownloaded once i got home =)