Faith.

"faith is not belief without proof, but trusting in Him and already knowing."

this will be one blunt post that might make me look like a straight up bitch.
some people I just can't seem to stand seriously. their actions, character, personality, beliefs, past relations with them..or whatever it is will make me cringe inside being around them. especially if i've never had a personal depth of closeness with you.. cutting you out...or bumping you from 'friend' to 'acquaintance' is not big deal. i've had ALOT of people come in and out of my life.
that was my mentality...
until someone i couldn't stand for years totally caught me off gaurd today. they gave me a small but worthy sign of appreciation. and i was ever so greatful.
all this time i've been praying to God saying something along the lines of.... i have faith that everything will turn out right through You. yet i had absolutely no Faith in people that simply annoyed me. how did i ever expect for people to recognize my changes and mistakes and have compassion towards it .. when i don't give them the equal opportunity?
He has totally humbled me down tonight.

midjulycrisis.

past couple of weeks have been really frustrating. i'm singing songs repetitively over and over again trying to hit those notes that seem impossible to reach. i dread going to the piano to practice repetoire that daunt me. i feel like i'm improving 0%. when did my passion become such a chore? i'm starting to get terrified as each discouraging practice session at home passes by and i'm only getting closer to my grad school applications, audition, and deadlines. yes, in the midest of my mid-july-crisis.. i went to small group today and i was awakened. awakened by the fact that i wasn't alone in feeling lost and concerned about my future. that i'm not alone on this journey. thanks girls, you guys are awesome! i'm beginning to get a glimpse of why God desires unity and fellowship within his children. it's been a huge blessing coming into this small group in many ways. but i love particularly how each of our members are so different in personality and character.. but they all embody strong opinions, respect, the brains, that..."nuh-uh i don't tolerate BS" right amount of attitude, and of course love for Christ...i feel like each week our discussions are never boring :)

QT** it's been a long sauga since april.. but i've managed to finish Mathew,Mark, Luke, John and finally on Acts! i mean i know how significant the Passover weekend is to us. But reading it in different versions four times consecutively was a challenge but indeed meaningful and informative! excited to see what His Word will reveal to me in the book of Acts.

playlist- obsessed with this korean drama right now called Bad Guy ('nabbun namja')..all the music is from the official soundtrack.. i particularly loveee the first song on that list.