Psalm 15
Lord who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill?
He whose walk is blameless and does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman,
... who despises a vile man but honours those who fear the Lord,
who keeps his oath even when it hurts,
who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things will never be shaken.

Perfect Church,

Really enjoyed our guest speaker today. It was really encouraging to hear that as a small church we have many struggles in so many ways  but being a part of an intimate community is beneficial for us.. for there is no room in a small church for people to hide and just sit back in a Sunday service... and noone can easily come in and out without not being noticed. i think this year will become uncomfortable and difficult for everyone as we look for  a new location to plant our church but i am so very excited to see how God will stretch us, challenge us, and allow us to grow together in community with His spirit being the center of it all.

haha i also loved the part when the speaker said, " why do so many people  look for the perfect church when they themselves are not perfect? if you ever find the perfect church, don't go to it.. because you will make it unperfect by entering it".

We are blessed and highly favored,

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,yet he opened not his mouth;like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,so he opened not his mouth.



ahhh stole that from someone's status on fb. feeling completely blessed from beng able to share a tiny portion of my journey at this awesome church... so blessed !. God is amazing

Please your pride, telling lies that you're on your own

^ that specific line in a song really opened my eyes to all the levels of pride that exist in my heart. feeling alone, that sense of lonliness itself is the unbelief that God is with me all the time. it is the actual self-persuasion that from what i feel sometimes it come to belief that i am completely by myself in this world. what an insult my pride has been towards God who is with me ALL THE TIME.. even when i'm so blind to his presence.

God truly remains FAITHFUL to me...... just last night i've realized that He had answered me. Answered a prayer i probably so desperately hoped for back 4 years ago. which i totally forgot about. it's funny how when time passes and things get better i tend to forget the fear, the pain, and the desperation...and most importantly His acceptance, His mercy, and His love.

as yukimi would say 'after the rain we forget..we make sure we gain and then we leave it... cause we're a nation of forgetters'

do you see the peep of light?

finding so much great love and support within the community of God.
i am so grateful i have people in my life where i can go to and be completely vulnerable with. even though the condition of my heart is so ugly, broken, and lost.. God has blessed relationships in my life... to channel through them ..to experience His unconditional love, salvation, and acceptance.

inspired to put Him as center.


searching,

self-realizations,

God is taking me on a journey of an emotional rollercoaster ride.
it feels really similar to some place i've been before
but the situation itself is completely different

what i've come to realize is that i need certain things to grow in this Faith.
i can't stand certain things and i don't know how to deal with it.
but i do know that i have a lot of love supporting me right now.

so frustrated, scared, and hesitant at times
but so grateful.

debrief,

mixpod is being really lame. so i could not make a new playlist =(. i guess im going to have to hog all the good music to myself lol....

this winter break was really interesting. full of emotional turmoils the first two weeks that really shed light on my own insecurity, fear, lack of patience/faith/hope/trust in God, and selfish ambitions/desires. the two weeks following after that i felt completelyyyy the opposite. God has really shown me time and time AGAIN that i shouldn't rely on my own feelings and intuitions on any situation or circumstance... because everything always turns out as what i didn't expect. it's been the biggest blessing to have the Holy Spirit dwell in me ..to show me that sometimes i just need to have some patienceeee, instead of jumping to my own conclusions with a freakout and later finding out ...ha....ha..... i would have saved myself from a lot of unecessary distractions

i've learned how far i still need to go into putting Christ as center in my life.